I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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