in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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