My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
