We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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