you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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