Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
