I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sorry my hands just texted you
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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