Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
