so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm too high and old for this...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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