i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
