I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
