I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
