I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
