For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
