After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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