Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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