Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
