she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
