just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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