we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
only you would photoshop your dick
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
