Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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