i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
