He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
