Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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