I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
