Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
