sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
