He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i now understand why vodka
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
