your thong is hanging out like whoa
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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