he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
