Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize