Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
