ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
