You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
