I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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