If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
