I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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