Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
