so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
is that a dick in a sweater?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
