Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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