idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
