Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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