Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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