Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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