That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
