remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
