The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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