Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
