I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
