i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you never un-have a 4some
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
